Monday Night Schadenfreude

scha‧den‧freu‧de  /Pronunciation[shahd-n-froi-duh]
–noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else's misfortune.
[Origin: 1890–95; < G, equiv. to Schaden harm + Freude joy]

Because, frankly, it's all we have sometimes.

To wit:
Lil' Shula. As an MSU alum: Don't everybody thank us at once.
Or think of it this way; in the last decade, Alabama has had as many head coaches as they've had wins (and losses if you're a glass half full type) against lowly old State.

Ron Mexico (plus the 'Dirty Bird' pic)p.s. Norwood and Griffith: you're still my boys. Just sayin'.
EEEEEElllllllliiiiiiiii
The liquored' up kicker
Sexy Rexy
Which is a shame, really, since I'll always remember him like this:

...moving on.
The Big 12 in general (see #1 AGAIN, scroll down to Friday, chuckle heartily)
Does the preceeding incidents make me shallow or petty, perhaps. Maybe it does. But like I said, sometimes that's all you have.

Egg Bowl 2006: Only masochists need apply

But first, some memories from the past.
The 1997 pre-game brawl (which can't be embedded, unlike Deuce's helmet in Shivers' skull. allegedly.)
And the much more pleasant ending 1999 finale.

Adblock

The Dawg has a great rundown of some pre-game links.

Now, let me begin my late 19th century patent-medicine salesman style pitch.
Observe, if you will, good sirs, the ultimate battle of the nationally insignificant, yet regionally hostile football rivalry of the magnolia state. Gawk in slack-jawed disbelief at two of the country's most inept offenses (scroll down, way down)...in the same game!
Silently ponder if the "Harvard of the South" might just be letting admissions standards slip a bit to say nothing of who didn't get in and why (further discussion here). Smirk in smug judgementality and imagine why a coach would promise that his players would NEVER get into trouble like they did under the last coach before stuff like this started happening. Again. And again... Wonder in pure amazement how one man can break the same collarbone twice in the course of one season! Sit in sheer unadulterated bemusement at the other coach's accent which runs the gamut from amusing to incomprehensible.
Yes, brave college football fan, these wonders and many more await you tomorrow afternoon in Oxford (no TV, I think it violates some FCC obscenity rule), in the hundred and somethingth battle for the golden egg. Loser gets the keys to the SEC basement.

Broncos Imploding?

It would certainly seem so (and on a side note, it seems that even the Hall of Fame doesn't care much for Broncos). The defensive issues that came roaring to life in the second half against the Chargers were in full force last night (even though I thought the blow to the head penalty is bullshit). The special teams were a bit of a joke, too. And the topping on the bitter turkey-day pie of dismay, was the offense's note-worthy horrible play and the rumblings for Jake to be replaced are getting louder, but he still has a few fans. I think Jake's shot at redemption in the eyes of most fans (meaning myself and my cousins) came and went last night. Memo to Chris Collinsworth: you can remove your lips from his ass now. If he starts against the Seahawks, by all means please prove me wrong.



Tomorrow, we'll see if my personal misery index can crank up to 11 with the Egg Bowl.

So "The Game" Must be a Big Deal or Something

Well, according to every media outlet in the country, Saturday's Big Game might just be the game of the century. Of course, it's the duty of my generation's hearty skepticism to not give into such classic overhype and hyperbole, but what the hell. As was previously mentioned, this may just be the greatest thing ever witnessed in college football. Or any sport for that matter. This is bad news for the now nationally insignifigant Iron Bowl. Oh boo freakin' hoo. At least both of those teams will go to bowl games . Personally, I feel that categorizing rivalries as "greatest" is even more subjective than ranking music. Speaking of crappy music, tickets were so hard to come by that Nickleback couldn't weasel themselves into a free pair. Take off, cheapskate canuck hosers. The anticipation is almost palpable over at the M-Zone, and even people without a real horse in this race are getting in on the pregame action. Or just making fun of tOSU's well-known penchant for postgame shenanigans. Still not enough? ESPN has been driving the incredible hype machine for the matchup all week (in between Bobby Knight tirades and T.O. updates) and has enough links to choke anybody's bandwith. Even the folks at Slate are having a pre-game debate.
What's that, you say? These things NEVER live up to the hype? Well then, there's a story for you, too. Hater.
And what's that? You think that college athletics are an opiate for the masses and a waste of valuable resources for an institution whose main objective is ostensibly to teach young adults (which was best addressed by this fine documentary)? Well, The Nation feels your pain (cough)hippie(cough).
And in local news, authorities have found the missing statue of Affirmed. In an apartment of a WKU student. What is it with Western students and 4-legged mammals?

One last time

In case you missed it:
Saturday


Wednesday:
Johns apologizes for Croom remarks

And while the game may be long past, the wallowing in sackcloth and ashes continues for the Tide.
Alabama has been passed
Calm down, he doesn't mean by MSU, either. But most of the league. Plus, there's this:

Ole Miss has built a great indoor practice facility. Kentucky has fabulous facilities. Mississippi State probably isn't far behind. Jimmy Johns would probably never admit it even if someone could extricate his foot from his mouth, but had the Brookhaven, Miss., native stayed home and gone to Mississippi State or Ole Miss, he'd be a hero in his home state and a starter on the field. Oh yeah, he would have won a football game Saturday. Instead, he went to Alabama, where he's now a highly publicized backup playing behind an underachieving senior.

For an election themed story, here's EDSBS' take.
Alabama Fans Still Waiting on Mississippi State Recount
Brilliant.

The close contest hinged a few key issues. Both teams were strong on defense, but weak on security, giving the ball away at critical times. A corrupt offensive line eventually cost Alabama the lead, however, as Mississippi launched probes into the Alabama backfield time and time again, confusing the base of the Alabama offense and eroding support among the Crimson Tide faithful.

Proving that just because it's made up doesn't mean it's not rooted in truth:

We count all our points as Miss State, because they don’t come around very often.”

An Attitude Adjustment

During the week:
Johns says Croom's actions were 'tuck your tail and run'

Jimmy Johns wants to play quarterback. He wants to throw the ball. He wants to run the ball.

He wants to beat Mississippi State on Saturday. He wants to beat MSU coach Sylvester Croom. He wants the sellout crowd of 92,000 to roar until the Bulldogs go deaf.

Yes, for Alabama's backup tailback and the 2004 Mr. Football from the state of Mississippi, it's personal.

In a scathing interview Tuesday, Johns said that Croom believes that Johns betrayed him during the recruiting process and that the two haven't spoken since Johns signed with the Tide in February 2005.

During the game:


That is all.

The Thrill of Victory (for once)

Well Saturday, karma and hubris had a party at comeuppance's house and payback was served...cold. Okay now that I've established why I'm not a sportswriter, here's my thoughts about the win against Alabama for their first SEC road win in six seasons. Six freakin' years. That's a mighty long time of (at best) mediocrity. A few people sort of predicted this, or at least for the team to at least be competitive. Here is the humble plea from Stateskills

So, in the spirit of the crazy student who had the vision to dream of a Bama upset on ESPN, in primetime, on November 16, 1996, I say, please, please, please, let it happen again.

I can only assume he's cranking up Beck's Odelay and partying like it's 1996.

Here's a roundup of headlines:
Mississippi State stuns Bama in Tuscaloosa for first SEC win
Call it a miracle, if not for Bulldogs, surely for Croom
Dogs D-line confuses 'Bama
Henig leads Croom, Miss. State to road upset
This day was due for Croom, Bulldogs
The Washington Post (of course they were there) went with the alliterative Bulldogs Bite Back
In 2006 season summed up in 60 minutes of disappointment Cecil Hurt dares to speak the coach's name who was the victim of MSU's "signature win" of 2004 (Florida fans look away): Ron Zook
And now, a random stat: Alabama hasn't scored an offensive touchdown against State in two years. That might help explain this.


As for the Bama players, here's how they're handling it
From the Mobile Press-Register.

Tide players sound sour notes in defeat
Sunday, November 05, 2006
TUSCALOOSA -- Disgruntled Alabama players dug for reasons to explain their 24-16 home loss to horrid Mississippi State Saturday.

If you listened long enough, you could hear the sound of sour grapes.

"The only reason I can say they're the better team is because they didn't have a lot of penalties like we did today," Alabama running back Ken Darby said.

The final flag count: Alabama six penalties for 45 yards; State five penalties for 58 yards.

Crimson Tide center Antoine Caldwell was not happy with State's tactics in the trenches.

"They were a physical defensive line last year, we knew they'd be physical this year," Caldwell said. "They're more dirty than anything. They do a lot of things between the whistle, after the whistle."

Caldwell sported a piece of sliced flesh under his right eye.

"Yeah, a guy reached up under my facemask and scratched me," Caldwell said. "It was No. 98 (Deljuan Robinson)."

-- JOHNS DISAPPEARS: Tide tailback Jimmy Johns had one carry for one yard, did not take a snap at quarterback, and played only one snap after getting blasted by De'Mon Glanton on a third-quarter kickoff.

Johns got up from the ground, staggered almost to his knees, then wobbled to the sideline into the waiting arms of trainers. After the game, Johns looked in vain for the State player who rocked his world.

Personally, I think the sour grapes sound great. Wait, there's more

"They was picking us a lot. They were picking the safeties. They were taking the No. 1 guy on the inside and making him run in front of us so we couldn't get up over the top of him. We had to go underneath. The referees didn't see that the whole game." Bama DB Jeffrey Dukes.

Mmmmmm. That's good hubris. Coming from the people that were so confident before the game (see the Jimmy Johns quotes below). Here's some more examples: nice one there, Mike and very original Starkville smack. But this one's even better. Courtesy of Bama Football Report:

I think jumping headfirst into defeat makes for fine poetry but lousy football. I think teams that are accustomed to losing find ways to lose. And I think the song says they got a name for the winners in the world.

Roll Tide.

A little note about your beloved Steely Dan reference (from a Donald Fagen interview in Rolling Stone):

Where did you get the line "They call Alabama the Crimson Tide/Call me Deacon Blues"?

Walter and I had been working on that song at a house in Malibu. I played him that line, and he said, "You mean it's like, 'They call these cracker assholes this grandiose name like the Crimson Tide, and I'm this loser, so they call me this other grandiose name, Deacon Blues?' " And I said, "Yeah!" He said, "Cool! Let's finish it!"

But the best example for today's advanced study in irony has to be the writer for the Crimson-White who suggested that MSU be kicked out of the SEC after losing to Tulane.
The comments section seems to have really picked up recently.

Congrats as well to DB Quentin Culberson who was named this week's national defensive player of the week. Not bad for a player on a dirty worthless team from a hick town that isn't worthy of staying in the league.

So for all my inane ramblings, what do we know? State is still a "rebuilding" team with a long ways to go (but with hard work maybe we can beat every C-USA team we play!) and Bama will still go on to a bowl game even if they lose to LSU and Auburn ,where they may or may not can their coach afterwards. Even so, one fact remains.

Some Football Thoughts

So, this week has been spent by me in pure pigskin Hell. I've sunken into the fact that my alma mater stinks at football (and has for all of this decade) but I at least expect some facade of competence, and getting Pwn3d by Kentucky (at home) does NOT count. But hey, some national sports writers are still firmly entrenched on the Croom bandwagon, so that has to count for something, right? Plus, the Clarion-Ledger is looking for MSU fans to tell their "feelings" about the season. Personally, I prefer my seldomly updated, poorly thought out, anonymous blog for such things. Anyway, tomorrow's "brunch game" features MSU vs. Alabama. It was a decade ago when MSU had their WTF? moment of victory over the Top 10 Tide in a game that they frankly had no business winning. I was but a lowly freshman then, and the most memorable part of the game other than the W was the parachute guy breaking his leg before the game. But I digress. The bulletin board material for tomorrow's game (stop laughing, please) has come courtesy of Bama RB Jimmy Johns. There was some bad blood after he signed with Bama after (allegedly) commiting to MSU. Good thing he's not still being a dick about it or anything. Maybe a home-delivered gourmet sub can make things right. In more random crap, I have something in common with "Bruno". We've both been heckled in Bryant-Denny stadium. Although the guy that flipped me off had a way better mullet. But equally weak smack. Observe.

Adblock

Adblock

Adblock

Adblock

As an aside, I could have gone with friends to the UT/LSU game (aka the matchup good taste forgot) but didn't. I suggested the weekends drinking game should involve orange/white vs. purple/gold "ghettoflage" (it's the new zubaz!) Which makes me insane. Or just someone who values his liver.
In completely unrelated news; finally, microbiology and college sports come together in glorious fashion with the story of the football team plagued by Staph infections. From their couch. You're welcome, fellow nerds.
Moving onto pro football, my beloved Broncos took one on the chin AT HOME to the Colts last Sunday. The whole game just kinda had the feel to it that whoever got the ball last would win, plus the vaunted Denver D looked like mere mortals for the first time in a while. On the closing drive, we all freakin' knew what would happen. Whew, I got through that description without any mention of my lonstanding seething resentment of everything Manning. Plus, to make the misery worse, the Raiders won (!?), and the Chargers, aided by their roid-raging freak who apparenlty thinks we're all total morons won, too. Anyway, the game this weekend against the reeling Steelers will (hopefully) be a good time to rebound. It also seems to be a bit under the radar in the AFC, too. Which might be a good thing. So, that's pretty much all from me now. If anyone asks, I'm NOT off to go get a "massage".